If you know me at all you know that I am a strong believer that your reality is a reflection of your mental state, faith and self talk. Now, with that said, I would also be labeled by those same individuals, at times as a self pessimist. Though I can give one hell of a motivational speech to my friends and family, at times I have been the last one to believe anything good was coming my way.
I have in the past experienced a shift like no other, I made the choice for a solid 12 months that everything positive was coming and happening to me at the time. Though I had nothing around me change to start this process I chose to believe it. I would start my day with a prayer of thanksgiving, stating I am happy, healthy and thankful for the positivity that fills my life. Great things happened. In this time I met my now husband, established lifelong friendships and found my passion for PR among other things. I would say I was my most authentic self I had ever been up to this point in my life. Everything came together in that year to present me with an opportunity I could have only dreamed of. As I prepared to take on this new life change, my negative self talk started to creep in, making me doubt my ability and worthiness for this opportunity to become my reality. Because of this thought pattern, I had the second most disappointing moment in my life take place. Bringing my old habits back with a vengeance, I lost the opportunity God had brought to me, leaving me with no plan and broken spirits.
I flipped into auto pilot and did what I had to do; the everyday school, work and life routine. This landed me working for my father’s business, something I never had a desire to do and to move in with Evan, a move I would have not predicted only a few weeks earlier. For a year I thought about “what if” keeping myself in that negative moment.
As I threw myself into my studies and doing the best job I could at work, I started to not think so much about the past or the future. I was focused on the present and what I needed to take care of from day to day. In this time I started to regain my faith in God and his plan for my life. He showed me this everyday through Evan’s love and support of me, the passion I was developing for my work and the determination that grew inside of me while completing school.
As faith filled my heart once again I started to reflect on all that had happed. 4 years later, that missed opportunity is something I am grateful for. God placed me in that time of hardship so I could grow and learn to trust his plan. I have had far greater opportunities and future possibilities in my life than I could have predicted for myself. I am also far more grateful for them, small or big, now than I would have been 4 years ago. Though I do believe that we shape a lot of our reality with our thoughts I think it has more to do with our faith in whatever you believe; God, the Universe or the power you hold in yourself and its desire for you to be filled with love. Know that everything you experience in life is meant to refine you to a better version of yourself, whether it is a disappointing moment or one filled with joy. You will continuously be shaped into someone who has more to offer the world. Stay true to your authentic self and be present in these moments because that’s when life begins to unfold.